New Year’s Resolutions, Why?

by Mary Haight on January 2, 2013

New Year's resolutionsNew Year’s resolutions are often made with good intentions, and just as often left behind even before January has passed. So what moves us to think that any declarations we make will succeed given the evidence of years of broken promises strewn like confetti after a parade? Why do we torture ourselves? Is it because we are hopeful, or because we know we could be a better version of ourselves if we just had that one missing piece of the puzzle?

Change is really very difficult. As much as we might want it, we fight it – either passively through procrastination or actively through deliberate sabotage. But there is something that will turn you around – something strong enough to keep your resolve pushing forward. Psychologists might say it’s fear and they would have a point, but I think it’s love coupled with the fear of loss that changes the outcome of resolutions. You’re wondering by now no doubt, how does this relate to dogs?

Just before Christmas, our community of dog bloggers shared the loss of the famously well-traveled agility dog Cosmo Havanese with his person, Diane Silver. We got a chance to hear all about Cosmo’s trip to Italy on a podcast at Animal Cafe. This sad and unsettling loss of a darling, vibrant dog who lived a wonderful, active life made me consider time and how much of it I spend with my own aging dog (grooming aside since that is not so much a joy for my double-coated Shih-Tzu). I have had to re-think my position on resolutions as a fool-hardy pursuit.

Earlier this morning I chose a quote for a status update on FB that must have stuck in my head and pushed this topic out for this morning’s post:

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time given us” ~J.R. Tolkien

And there you have it, at the root of all resolutions is our decision on how we will spend our time. Exercising, sleeping, reading, writing, playing, protesting, eating, relating, befriending, loving — the success or failure of our intentions is held in each moment — it is our decision to make. To be aware of each moment and conscious of how we use our time, and the consequences of wasting it, might turn those well-intended New Year’s resolutions into goals met.

We can make this the year when unshakable change takes hold. How about it — are you in?

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kolchakpuggle 9 pts

I've never been a big "resolutions" person, but I am a big list maker. Lists tend to keep me on track and working towards my goals. So instead of resolutions, I just made a list of the things I want to do (daily, weekly, monthly) and I'm trying to stay on top of them. To me, resolutions always felt like I was trying to change who I was, where the lists just help me be the best me I can!

MaryEHaight 90 pts moderator

 kolchakpuggle That's a good thought - I like making lists too -- it is the main thing that keeps me on track. Good way to take the pressure off;) Thanks for the visit and for joining in - Happy New Year!

KimberlyGauthier 11 pts

I love making resolutions, but they're the same resolutions I make for myself on a daily basis.  I see the New Year as my chance to leave the past in the past; it's a marker in life and whatever happened last year I either deal with and let go or just plain let go and move forward.

 

In 2013, I'm excited to say that I've finally reached a point in my life where I have a nice balance between family, dogs, work, and blogging.  But my goal is to work towards being a full time professional blogger.

 

Great post!

MaryEHaight 90 pts moderator

 KimberlyGauthier Life is always in flux I find, and when it's moving in a balanced way, that's a good time to notice and be thankful ;)  Thanks for adding your voice to the conversation and Happy New Year!

DawgBlogger 12 pts

In a way I "outgrew" making resolutions. I believe that if one wants to do something, they'll do it. If they haven't done it yet, the probably never won't. Resolutions just give one something to feel bad about later.

 

So I just do my best, which does include time. Am I doing great? Well, I think the time is winning and I'm losing.

MaryEHaight 90 pts moderator

 DawgBlogger I thought I outgrew it too...but then when I heard about Cosmo's passing, I had to rethink the time spent on the computer when I could be spending quality time with my dog  instead. I have a rearranged schedule now. It just happened to be a New Year! I hear what you're saying about setting yourself up for failure and it's so unnecessary. I think it's useful to stop and see what's happening with priorities in your life every now and again - make sure you've not got things out of balance =) Thanks for your thoughts Jana!

DawgBlogger 12 pts

 MaryEHaight I hear you about that. That is kind of been my policy for a long time now "treat everybody as if they were going to die tomorrow." So that's my policy and applies to my dogs too, of course.So I spend as much time with them as I possibly can. Given Jasmine's veterinary expenses, though, I cannot help working like a mad man at the same time.

 

But, no matter what, every day we have time that is set aside for the dogs, even if clients were covered in explosives, threatening to blow themselves up :p

IndyAgent 17 pts

Time is the one thing we all have equal amount of and how we choose to use it, is what differentiates us! 

MaryEHaight 90 pts moderator

 IndyAgent Resolutions attempt to reshape how we use time, and that is why they are so problematic -- new habits being so much more difficult to implement than we expect! Thanks for stopping by, Paula.

haroldgardner 81 pts

The funny toast that I heard was, may your troubles last as long as your resolutions...

MaryEHaight 90 pts moderator

 haroldgardner Okay Harold - that merited a guffaw-- too funny! Thanks for stopping by...always good to get your perspective =)

BuddyHodges 8 pts

As a dog lover I can relate to your metaphor.  Surely dogs live in the moment -- now...

 

My Border Collie is an excellent role model, not only for living in the moment, but also for relationship building. She wins over even those who are shy of dogs by giving attention, recognition, and enthusiasm.

MaryEHaight 90 pts moderator

 BuddyHodges Ha! I love that description of your dog - it's beautiful ;) Thanks for adding your voice to the conversation, Buddy.

CarolBryant 16 pts

I set 12 goals a year - one per month. They are do-able and achievable. Anything more than that is a bonus. I am into resolutions but I am into goal setting and have done this for years. If feels good at the end of a year to have 12 accomplishments, at a minimum in place. Happy New Year!

MaryEHaight 90 pts moderator

 CarolBryant New Year's resolutions for me are long term lofty goals to be met by meeting objectives throughout the year...but sometimes it requires attention every day, like a resolution to be more kind or compassionate and that is more difficult to measure. It's so interesting to see different perspectives on this topic =) Thanks for jumping in, and Happy New Year!

Sheltie Times 11 pts

If I think of the resolutions or goals I've set and achieved they've always had something practical or achievable I was ready to commit to and the resolution or goal was just a way of commiting to it.  Those that failed were more dreams than actual things in my life I was ready to change, move towards, or adapt.

MaryEHaight 90 pts moderator

 bailey41999 Yes, when I think of New Year's resolutions I see it as a goal that needs a set of objectives to be met throughout the year to meet it.  I agree unless the goal is defined, it is unlikely to be realized.

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